The Invisible Load: The Emotional Toll of Being the ‘People Person’ in HR
by: Darren TrumblerPosted on:

The Invisible Load: The Emotional Toll of Being the ‘People Person’ in HR

An organization’s human resources (HR) department is frequently described as its core. It serves as a buffer between conflicting interests, a link between staff and management, and a problem-solver. HR specialists are referred to as “people people”—the sympathetic, trustworthy person who is there to help others when they need it.

However, what occurs when a person silently ignores their own feelings while carrying those of others? In actuality, HR professionals are rarely permitted to display vulnerability because they are expected to be available at all times, handle other people’s crises, and maintain composure. Their wellbeing may suffer greatly over time as a result of this unseen emotional burden, eventually developing emotional exhaustion, burnout, and compassion fatigue.

The Emotional Burden of HR Professionals

It’s always expected of you as an HR professional to listen, offer support, and settle disputes. But there are high emotional costs associated with this role. Managing delicate matters, such as layoffs, interpersonal disputes, mental health issues, and workplace dynamics, is the responsibility of human resources professionals. They frequently have to repress their own emotions while assisting others in overcoming these obstacles, and they hardly ever get the same degree of emotional support in return.

 

The Invisible Load of HR Includes:

  • Emotional Availability without Vulnerability: HR professionals are often expected to be emotionally available to others, but are rarely given the space to process their own feelings. This constant expectation to be the “go-to” person can lead to exhaustion, as they’re absorbing the emotions of others without a proper outlet for their own.

  • Caring, But Not Too Much: There’s an unspoken expectation that HR should care deeply about the well-being of employees but not to the point where it affects their emotional health. This creates a conflict for HR professionals who genuinely want to help but are also expected to maintain emotional distance.

  • Empathy, But Never Overwhelmed: HR professionals are often praised for their empathy and understanding, yet they are discouraged from expressing any signs of stress or being overwhelmed. This can lead to internalized guilt when they feel emotionally drained, making it difficult to seek help.

Over time, these expectations lead to compassion fatigue, where HR professionals begin to feel numb to the stories they used to care deeply about. They may feel emotionally drained and find it harder to empathize with others. This exhaustion is often difficult to articulate because, outwardly, everything seems fine—yet emotionally, they feel burnt out and empty.

What Does Compassion Fatigue in HR Look Like?

Compassion fatigue in HR is subtle but incredibly damaging. Over time, it manifests in various ways, often making HR professionals feel disconnected from their roles and the people they serve. Here are some key signs:

  1. Numbness to Stories: What once triggered empathy and action may now feel distant. HR professionals may become numb to stories they would have once connected with on a deep level.

  2. Emotional Drainage: Being the “go-to” person can become emotionally exhausting. When every conversation feels like a crisis, the energy required to support others becomes overwhelming.

  3. Unexplained Exhaustion: You may feel tired and emotionally drained without a clear reason. This exhaustion doesn’t necessarily stem from physical tasks but from the emotional toll of constantly carrying other people’s burdens.

  4. Difficulty Setting Boundaries: HR professionals may struggle with saying no or setting limits, often apologizing when they need to protect their time or mental space. Over time, this can contribute to feelings of resentment and burnout.

Strategies to Set Boundaries (Without Losing Your Humanity)

While the emotional toll of HR work is undeniable, there are strategies HR professionals can use to protect their mental health while still maintaining their essential role in the organization. Here are some practical steps to set boundaries without compromising empathy:

1. Redefine What “Being There” Means

Being supportive doesn’t mean being endlessly available. HR professionals can redefine what being present looks like. Setting clear availability boundaries and communicating them with employees is crucial. Additionally, HR can empower employees to seek resources on their own, promoting independence and self-sufficiency.

2. Normalize Boundaries as Part of Organizational Culture

HR sets the tone for company culture, and that includes how boundaries are respected. By modeling healthy boundaries, such as taking breaks, saying no when necessary, and protecting mental health, HR can encourage others in the organization to do the same. When HR respects its limits, it sends a message that mental health is a priority for everyone.

3. Build a Support System for HR Professionals

HR professionals should not be expected to carry the emotional weight of the entire organization on their own. Creating peer circles, mentorship groups, or safe spaces where HR can debrief and share experiences with colleagues can provide a much-needed support system. Just like employees have check-ins with HR, HR professionals deserve the same level of support and connection.

4. Make Time for Emotional Recovery

HR work is deeply emotional, and it’s important to acknowledge this. HR professionals should block time on their calendar for decompression and emotional recovery. After tough conversations, it’s essential to give themselves time to process their feelings, rather than rushing on to the next task. This time for self-care can help prevent burnout and improve emotional resilience.

5. Ask for Help (Yes, HR Too)

HR professionals often feel the pressure to have all the answers, but it’s important to remember that they, too, need help. If feeling overwhelmed, HR professionals should feel comfortable reaching out to colleagues, leadership, or even a counselor for support. Just as they help others, they too deserve a space to express their own struggles.

HR Can’t Be the Heart of the Organization if It’s Running on Empty

HR professionals can benefit greatly from empathy, but it can also become a liability if there are unclear boundaries and a lack of emotional self-care. Although compassion is a wonderful tool for fostering relationships, it can only be sustained when self-compassion is incorporated. HR specialists need to keep in mind that they are also people. They should be given the same consideration, compassion, and time to deal with their feelings as the individuals they assist.

The next time someone calls you “the people person,” keep in mind that you are also a person. Additionally, it’s acceptable to look after others while also looking after yourself.

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